I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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