I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
