Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
