Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
