She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
