i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
