i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Damn victory sex feels great
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
