Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
