My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Mom said you looked used
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
