So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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