....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
