I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
