So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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