Hey man sorry I got all grabby
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
