Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
