if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
