I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
