Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Your dad touched me again.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
