Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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