you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We're too hungover to prance.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
