Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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