Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
