Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
