put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
