Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He has the fingertips of a God
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