Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
