Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
