I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
