I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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