I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
