yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
