I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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