Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
