She is in my trunk
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize