NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
