I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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