kristin has been a bad kristin
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize