You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Say something about gay babies.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
