all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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