I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you will always have a special place in my vag
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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