she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
