Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
