Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
