i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
