what if every blade of grass was a penis?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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