Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Randomize
