So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just want nice things and good sex
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize