i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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