my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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