my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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