I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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