I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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