Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
