By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize