kristin has been a bad kristin
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
