ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
