When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize