Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize