She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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