So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
