So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
