I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
