Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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